I’ve been on maternity leave for 9 years, the last three of which I have spent as a mother of three children. My daily routine seems endless and it absorbs me. I try to be a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my children. At least, I attempt to conform to these roles. I cook and strive to keep the house tidy, not to mention that I have buried myself on children’s psychology books to become a so-called professional mum.
Sometimes, I even feel like I’m succeeding, but most of the time, I feel overwhelmed by the daily chores, and my efforts to become a better version of myself seem futile. No matter how hard I try, I can’t always rely on all the tips in the books to communicate with my children , perhaps because I am a human being and some situations differ from what the books suggest.
On all the social networks, as well as in the media, I see beautiful mothers of many children. They dance or go to the gym, handle the conflicts with children perfectly, go on romantic dinners with their husbands, and seem to do it all! Why does it seem like I’m unable to do anything!?! Will I ever be able to reach this golden standard? Is it actually necessary? How realistic is this image and who decided that it should be like this? Perhaps some people fully dedicate themselves to motherhood and find happiness in it. Apart from spending time with my beloved children, I have other interests that fascinate me and I want to dedicate time to them, too. But every time I do, there is always someone’s judgmental look or even a word about the mess in my house. And I feel ashamed again, thinking that I’m setting my priorities incorrectly. No, I should not get rid of this image of the “perfect mother”! I have three children, and it seems like I no longer belong to myself. I just need to try a little harder!
The truth is that I am so exhausted that I have no desire to fit into this demanding stereotype. I don’t want to be perfect. I want to live a life where my feelings, interests, and goals matter.
And once I have had a dream…
